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Top 50 of the Funniest Wheelchair Jokes
wheelchair jokes reddit
wheelchair jokes | funny Wheelchair jokes. | wheelchair jokes reddit | family guy wheelchair jokes
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A man sits at a bar…
…After the third beer he decides to go home. He tries to walk out, but as soon as he is off his chair he falls on the ground. He figures he’s probably not drunk enough. He orders another one, tries to go, but again falls on the ground. After two more beers and tries he decides just to crawl home.
The next morning his wife says to him in the bed.
“You were in the bar last night.”
“How did you know?”
“The bartender called. You forgot your wheelchair.”
I don’t like the song Stairway To Heaven
because it implies that heaven is not wheelchair accessible.
So an old Jewish man dies
So an old Jewish man dies and as per his last wish, his son goes to the newspaper publisher and asks, “How much for an obituary in your newspaper?”
Publisher says, “$5 per word”.
The son says, “Publish ‘Jacob Goldberg Dead’ “.
The publisher says, “We require minimum 6 words”.
So the son says, “In that case make it ‘Jacob Goldberg Dead, Wheelchair For Sale’ “.
People keep pushing me around and calling me lazy…
I don’t care what they say though this wheelchair is the best thing I ever bought!
A wife says to her husband
… “I don’t like you pushing me around all the time and talking behind my back”
Husband say “Well honey what do you expect you’re in a wheelchair”
Lourdes
A wheel-chair bound chap decided to visit the healing waters of Lourdes. It was very crowded but he spotted a gap and went for it at such a pace that he ended up in the pool, wheel-chair and all. When they fished him out he was quite disappointed to find that he was still unable to walk, but found consolation in the fact that his wheel chair had a brand new set of tires.
What does a shopping cart and a wheelchair have in common?
They both can be used to carry vegetables….
What’s the hardest part about cooking a vegetable?
Fitting the wheelchair in the oven.
What’s the hardest part about eating a vegtable?
The wheelchair.
I recently started dating a woman in a wheelchair, and I stood her up.
Not surprisingly that’s when she fell for me…and you know what, it became a bit of a drag…but now we’re on a roll.
My girlfriend broke up with me so I took her wheelchair
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Guess who came crawling back
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair
Guess who came crawling back
To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacketтАж You can hide, but you canтАЩt run.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin mobile.
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Ever since I needed a wheelchair, my husband has been so rude. HeтАЩs been pushing me around and talking behind my back.
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My son asked me what dark humor was, so I told him, see that kid in the wheelchair, ask him to stand. He said, But Dad IтАЩm blind. Exactly
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I was in a public bathroom in a handicap stall and when I got out a handicap man told me that I was an a**hole and I told him тАЬbet you wonтАЩt stand up and say that to my faceтАЭ and hen he broke down.
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